How to walk through Paris

– Walk alone – there is not enough space for you and your friend to comfortably stroll around together.

– Put on your headphones. Ideally big ones that cover all of your ears. Extra points if they have noise cancellation. Listen to some nice podcasts.

– Step outside your door.

– Immerse yourself in the audio bubble you created, shielding all the noise.

– Don’t look around! Keep your eyes fixed on the ground to avoid dog crap, piss, and last night’s vomit.

– Don’t be an idiot and walk on cycle paths. Feel free, however, to be passive aggressive towards people who clearly break the rules of urban pedestrianism.

– If you don’t know how to get to a place, let yourself guide by Google Maps. You can listen to voice directions and laugh how the poor American voice tries to pronounce the French street names.

– Marvel at how your headphones not only protect you from noise, but also make it less likely that people who, for example, collect signatures will approach you.

– Arrive at wherever you were going.